I need a soothing balm.
It's been a week since my heart was shattered to pieces and I can say I am doing okay, although not really okay. I still get teary-eyed thinking how I lost this person in a blink. There's this hole in my heart, a black hole, which feels very heavy. Empty as it is, it still feels very heavy. Now, second thoughts penetrate my mind frequently. Should I have stayed in Bonn? Would I have better opportunities if I studied at the University of Cologne?
A lot of questions hovering around but I know there is a reason for everything. Reason for losing this person. Reason for being in Budapest and not in Bonn.
Last Friday, I got really drunk at this Oktoberfest party in a German-speaking university here in Budapest. I was throwing up at the street on the way home. It will probably be the last time I am going to drink crazily. I need to focus on studying in the next couple of weeks, I mean months, if I want to survive 11 months in Budapest. If only this hole in my heart is not distracting me...
