Of knowing what is good for myself but not doing it; conversely, of knowing what is bad for myself but not avoiding it. So many thoughts running through my head while I had my Zahnreinigung today. The smell of blood, stark geblütet, and my thoughts wander to the genocide, war, and ethnic cleansing going on then being told what I already knew for decades now, "Floss regularly."
Tomorrow is the deadline for applications to two positions that I advertised. I'm very stressed on how I will handle applications of people I know who let me know that they applied. I only have one position for a Filipino speaker and another for a Vietnamese speaker. There has to be at least one Vietnamese speaker. I would love to have a big laboratory but I'm stuck teaching.
Should I let go of this "you're-made-for-life" position that I have? But not until 2029, because of the two projects (nay, three projects) that I have. At this point, I think I can also easily walk away from the Physicist if it's going to bring peace of mind and better mental wellbeing. This country is making me sick. But unsure if that's a temporary fix then I will go even crazier afterwards.
